Sunday, November 30, 2008

Monty R. Thompson - eulogy

For those that did not get to attend the service and for those that were there but requested a copy. Here is the wonderful eulogy that Kelsey put together for us. If you have a favorite "Monty" story I know Mom, Audrey, and I would love to hear them. Please feel free to write, type, email them to us. This is a way for us to share our dad with our children! We will be saving them and putting them in a scrapbook for all his grandchildren and future ones to come (if there are any).
Monty Thompson
By Jane Thompson, Christy Thompson Hackleman, Audrey Thompson Pore and Kelsey Angle

Maybe you knew him as Dad, Grandpa, Brother, Uncle Monty, Mr. Thompson, Coach Thompson or just plain Monty but you are here today because he in some way touched your life. If you knew Monty well, you probably figured out that this whole day would have been a nightmare for him. “Organized chaos”, he would have called it, but he would have found a way to make everything work much like those who have helped put this service together today. He would thank you for that.

Today we celebrate the life of Monty Thompson. When Jane asked him about the funeral service he said, if I had my way no one would have to wear a tie. So if you have a tie on and want to take it off or loosen it, feel free. But leave your shirt tail tucked in, because Monty felt strongly about dressing appropriately when representing your school or community.
He also wanted the service to be brief so that everyone could go play golf. Monty would have asked for a forecast, so it’s only fitting that I share, that it will be near 60 degrees at 2 pm, mostly sunny, neither breezy nor windy with a north wind at 5 mph and a 0% chance of rain. If you are interested in golf, see Bill Bogner because a round is in the works.

In golf, it’s important to have a good grip on the club. In life, it is important to have a good grip on oneself and on the game of life. Monty had that good grip. When asked how he was doing he often replied, “I have a good Lord, good doctors, good family and good friends.” He never wanted to give in to cancer. He was a fighter and believed strongly in his faith and values. He was willing to try any study available, even on the chance it didn’t help him but the research might help someone else down the line. While Monty has lost his round with cancer, he has a new course ahead.

In golf and life it’s important to follow through. One of Monty’s greatest joys in life was walking his daughters down the aisle. As you know, Monty was quick witted and had a one liner for any situation. He also was a coach both on and off the field and a teacher in and out of the classroom. Just before walking Christy and Audrey down the aisle, there was a “Bridesmaid Huddle”. Monty huddled the girls and said, “Girls, walk straight, no tripping and keep your eyes on the prize. It’s the fundamentals girls!”

In golf and life, it is important to have a proper stance and proper balance. Monty was the South Barber High School principal but he was also a man of principles. He was honest and fair in his dealings with people. There was never any question of where you stood with Mr. Thompson. He had high expectations and he made them known to his staff and students. If you crossed that line, there were consequences and he let you know that. He loved his family but he also loved his kids at school. In making decisions he would always consider what was best for the kids. He loved his staff and was always trying to make things easier so that they could just do their job.

In golf, you play with old friends or make new ones. In life, it is important to have old friends and make new ones. It was a tradition for Monty to make new friends on Valentine’s Day. Every year, he would have Laurie and Janet make Jane a unique Valentine’s Day balloon bouquet. Attached to the bouquet was lots and lots of candy for all of the first graders to enjoy. This annual tradition of sugar enticement, and friendship, always brought anxiousness and anticipation to South Barber Elementary.

In golf, you sometimes lose your ball in the rough. In life, we sometimes lose our way in the rough, rough times. During a girl’s high school basketball practice, Monty explained and explained and explained a basketball drill to the team. However, the team just wasn’t executing. Monty left the court, went to the locker room, grabbed a jersey, along with some tape. He then taped the jersey to the wall. Next, he turned to the jersey and started talking to it. As you might imagine, the team took notice and started to gather around and wonder what in the world Monty was doing. Monty posed the question, himself: “Do you want to know, what I’m doing?” and he answered, “Since you are not listening to me, I thought I would talk to the wall because at least the wall won’t talk back and make excuses.”

In golf, good players repair divots and ball marks. In life, good citizens strive to leave the world a better place. Serving in the Natural Guard, Monty believed that he should never ask a fellow soldier something that he would not do himself. To complete the order, he would jump in and help.

Monty was very proud of his grandchildren. He was always showing off pictures or telling stories to those who had an ear. He strived to be a positive role model and without a doubt has played an important part in their future. You can bet he will be smiling down from above as his grandkids make him proud.

Golf is one of the closest games, to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots but you have to play the ball where it lies. As a Christian, son, husband, dad, father-in-law, brother, brother-in-law, uncle, grandpa, cousin, principal, teacher, coach, soldier, friend and a golfer, Monty always strived to play the game of life where the ball lay and make the most of any given situation by giving it his best shot. That’s the effort that he gave us, and that’s the memory and expectation that Monty would want to leave us with, giving life our best shot and leaving the world a better place.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

I Am Thankful For...

As most of you know this has been a very difficult week for me and my family. We lost such a great man in our lives this week. We held his services yesterday, and I don't think we could have had a better day. I think it was a "God" thing as we have so often said this week. Losing someone out of your life is a gut wrenching experience but if you were ever doubting God's presence in this, don't. Dad passed so peacefully as Pastor Wayne described on Wednesday. The day was a pretty good day for golf afterward for his friends, especially for November. Kelsey Angle, his nephew, delivered a wonderful tribute to him in his uliogy. Mom, Audrey, and I worked on it a little bit, but couldn't and wouldn't have gotten it done without Kelsey. It was perfect and reduced our stress level enormously. The teachers and some (maybe all) of the students were dressed in South Barber gear. I did not witness this aspect, but I heard from the funeral director that his teaching staff stepped up and helped to organize seating to control the "chaos". The organ music was an array of songs that he loved from "Brown Eyed Girl" to "Boomer Sooner". Mrs. Daughettee was playing "Happy Together" my parents' song when Mom and Audrey and I walked in. It was so perfect. My friend Tim, channeled Willie Nelson, in his own (much more pleasing to my ears) style. It was just a complete blessing. I think Dad would have approved and been proud of us. Which leads me to what I was really thinking about when I set down to write this. Today is Thankgiving. Although I will miss him terribly, I am grateful for many things...

  • All the wise words of advice that he has given me over the years.
  • That he taught me how to think and make decisions
  • That he taught me the importance of being accountable for my decisions
  • That he got to walk me down the aisle.
  • That he got to know my husband ...and like him.
  • That he taught me the importance of service.
  • That we got to enjoy OU football games together.
  • That he had the opportunity to meet and enjoy Reed.
  • The relationship that we had, he was not just my dad, he was my friend.
  • That he taught me how to lead by example and not just with words.
  • That he taught me the importance of family.
  • That he had a strong faith and raised us with the opportunity to do the same.

I am sure there are many others...but these are the ones that come to mind this evening. You will be missed greatly Daddy!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Thanks for the Support!

We have had a very busy and stressful last couple of days. There has been many visitors; friends and family coming by the house and lots of planning and organizing for the services. As we wrap that up we hope to get a little rest and enjoy the time with our friends and family. Today is the visitation and tomorrow will be the service. We have had fun telling stories and looking at pictures.

Thanks so much to all of our friends that have called and left messages. I will apologize upfront, my cell phone does not work well, if at all in Kiowa. Not sure if it is a crappy phone or crappy service. But, I did listen to the 8 VM's I had last night and loved everyone of them! I will try to touch base with you all today.

If you'd like to get in touch with me, I'm checking email several times a day right now so that is probably the best. Or, if you have Todd's number ...his phone works a little better.

Thanks again to everyone!

Love,
Christy

Sunday, November 23, 2008

At Peace

Dad passed away tonight to be with his Lord and Savior. He passed peacefully with Mom, Audrey and I by his side. We are saddened that he is no longer with us, but take comfort in the fact that he is in a better place and is at peace.

We are grateful to all the friends and family that have helped us and prayed for us along the way. This has been quite a journey and now we will attempt to say goodbye and begin healing our hearts.

Services will be at 10:30 am on Wednesday, Nov 26th at the Kiowa United Methodist Church. Lanman Funeral Home will be handling the services. The memorial we have selected has actually just been recently named for him. It is the Monty Thompson Continuing Education Foundation. There will be information regarding this through the Funeral Home and their website at http://lanmanmemorials.com. They probably won't have information posted until late tomorrow as we meet with them at 2:30 in the afternoon.

Thanks again for all your love and support.

No Words...

Not often I'm I left without words, but I sit here today struggling to find the right words to let everyone know the events of the past 48 hours.

Today is a very difficult day. At both Mom and Dad's insistence, Todd and I went to the OU/Tech game. It was wonderful!!! Dad would have loved the tenacious defense and the butt-kicking that the Sooners handed out. Because the game was late, we spent the night in Guthrie and headed back this morning.

I called Mom this morning to check on the status of Dad's situation to find that he had gone done hill in a hurry this morning. He was very weak and fatigued on Saturday when we were there. He could barely walk from room to room. I was very fearful for his safety and for Mom's. She assured me that she had it under control, but he tried to get up in the night and fell. Mom had to call Melva and Robert to come help get him up. God bless our friends! She then called the Hospice nurse this morning and they have brought in the continuous care team to stay with her tonight.

Dad is unable to move at all on his own and he is extremely uncomfortable. He is coherent at times, but also is speaking a lot of jibberish. It is very taxing to speak at all. We all are praying that this will not last long for him, as he would absolutely HATE it! We pray that the Good Lord will take him home soon so that he can have his "one day of comfort".

We are so thankful for the wonderful friends and family that we have. We are so loved and supported that if this could be made easy it would be.

Please continue to pray for our family. I will update the blog with services information as soon as we know anything.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Rough Day

Just got off the phone with my mom tonight. Dad has had a few really good days since I left on Tuesday. He has had a lot of company and has even felt like catching up on some emails. Today was pretty rough for my mom. Dad slept a lot today. Mom said that he got up for about 20 minutes this AM when he had guests and then again for about 20 minutes this afternoon. The hospice nurse and aide were there again today to help with his belly catheter. Apparently it is not working exactly like we thought it would and is leaking rather profusely! The nurses have been very ingenius in trying to catch the fluid. The scheme today worked the best, Mom said.
We are hoping that all the sleeping today was more a sign of fatigue and not a rapid progression of the cancer, but that is very possibly what it could be. We were told that as the disease progresses that he would get weaker and just want to sleep more.

Todd, Reed and I plan to go to Kiowa again this weekend and hope to catch some quality minutes with him. Maybe he'll be up to watching a few minutes of the OU/Tech game. Of course if OU is losing I'll make him turn it off! :) He gives them the worst luck!

On a serious note, please continue to pray for strength and peace for my parents. We have some trying days ahead.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Home Sweet Home!!

Yesterday was a big day at the Thompson's house. The ultimate conclusion was that we got Dad home. Boy, is he happy!!

The day began with a hard conversation with Dr. Wilhelm and our wonderful nurse, Shelly. The bottom line is that the cancer has progressed to the point where we are at the end of life. Dad's goals are to have as much quality time as he can with time he as remaining. He would love to have at least one good day with his 5 grandkids. So after some discussion of what our options were, we made a decision to call in Hospice for a consultation. The next decision was what do we do about the fluid build up or ascites? Well, I truly think that we had some Divine intervention, because at the time we are discussing our options the surgeon, Dr. Ransom, that is only there two days a month happens to be there yesterday. He was able to explain to us that a Denver Shunt was not what we thought it was. What we really wanted was a perioteneal catheter. Once we figured that out, Dr. Ransom said, "well, I can do that right here, right now." If his blood pressure stayed up then he would get to go home! Yeah!!!

So, we have a catheter in his belly! It looks like a bad commercial for Viagra (Dad's words not mine), or a really large "outie". He has a styrofoam cup taped to the front of him covering up the tube and valve. We are waiting for the hospice nurse to come today to really get started. We are going to learn how to drain him and monitor his blood pressure. The catheter allows him to drain fluid for comfort relief, which gives him more energy and stamina. The hospice consultants came home with us yesterday and got all his medical equipment, i.e. shower chair, oxygen, walker, etc. I think they are in as good of shape as they can be. Dad even talked about going up to school for an hour or so next week. (He must be feeling better!)

We are so glad to have him home and look forward to the good quality time ahead. We know that it won't be without challenges, but we are grateful to all our friends and family for their love, support, and prayers. Please keep them coming!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Not Out of the Woods...


Connor, Reed, and Caydan playing in the back of Grandpa's Pick-up

Well, it has been a long couple of days here at Kiowa. Dad is doing better to the point that with good luck and probably some divine intervention he may get to come home in a couple of days. However, he is still seriously battling the fluid build up in his abdomen. When it is built up enough it causes shortness of breath and makes it difficult to keep any food down. He is stuggling with the food but not the breathing today. If he can tolerate the pressure of the fluid accumulation that will help to elevate his blood pressure and will help him get off the dopamine and be able to come home. Then the question becomes what do we do with the fluid build up? He has had it drained off 3 times in the last 2 weeks, and doctors indicate that was a major factor in putting him in the condition he is in now. Our SPECULATION is that he will end up in Wichita in the next day or two because of the discomfort and shortness of breath that the fluid retention is causing. It will be up to his oncologist to determine what course we are taking then. We know that we are nearing the end of this battle we just don't know how much fight is left in his tired body.

On a brighter note...Dad got to see all of his grandkids, except for Kellsie (who was at her mom's this weekend) on Saturday. The boys had a blast playing with the ballon man that was in Grandpa's room. They also played outside and grandma and grandpa's house. They had an absolute blast. I think Dad enjoyed seeing them all very much. He's spirits seemed to be lifted just a bit by their playfulness.

Please continue to pray for both my parents. All your love and support is fantastic!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Keep the Prayers Coming!

Thanks to everyone for the prayers and support! We can feel them! Dad is in the hospital in Kiowa and things don't look very promising. We know now that his cancer continues to spread with lesions in his abdomen and lungs and possibly kidneys. The hope is that we can stabilize his blood pressure so that he can go home to be more comfortable, but that is up in the air. He remains on IV fluids and dopamine to maintain the blood pressure. When they stop either or it drops dangerously low. I am home tonight but plan to return tomorrow morning. He is asking to see the grandkids. I told him Reed would be a maniac in a hospital room and pull out all his tubes in under 2 seconds. Dad asked if I could go get him today! He thought if got unhooked he could make a run for it. He is still finding humor in life, but his poor body is struggling. He gets a kick now out of telling everyone that he is "blood doping" so no Olympics for him!

My mom is a trooper. She is standing tough through all of this! Mom has a big test that she needs to take tomorrow in Wichita but is obviously leary of being away from him for that time. My Uncle Jim is with him and will be through the day. Audrey and I plan to go down tomorrow and take the kids. I plan to stay as long as I need.

Thanks again for all of your love and support! I don't know what I'd do without any of you!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Prayers for Grandpa Thompson

This week has been a tough week for my dad. Many of you know he is in an ongoing battle with nodular melanoma. It has progressed into his lungs and he is battling that was chemotherapy every 3 weeks. This last week and a half has been very tough on he and my mom. As a result of the cancer he fills up with large amounts of fluid and has had to have it drained 3 times in the last 14 days. It is a painful process and on top of that he just feels rotten. Please keep him in all of your prayers that he will feel better soon. We hope at least good enough to spend some time with his busy grandsons! Reed has been working on saying "Grandpa" but so far we just get "Guh" - but, hey that is pretty close, right?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Weekend at Nana's

Reed Playing in the Leaves!



This weekend Reed and I took an adventure to El Dorado Springs, MO. Todd was off to the Missouri/K-State football game in Columbia with some of his friends so Reed and I decided to go visit Nana and Papa Hackleman for the weekend. We took off on Friday night and drove ALL the way! Reed did great! He was asleep before we left Derby and made it all the way to Nevada, MO (about 20 miles from our destination). He cried all the way from Nevada to ElDo but I thought that was pretty good! I was about to cry too from having to go to the bathroom and not wanting to stop with baby in tow.

Needless to say we had a great time. Reed got to see his cousins Lance, Trey and Taylor. They are 23 and 16 respectively but they all thought Reed was pretty neat! They all played for hours. Nana and Papa get there time in as well. Reed kept them busy with putting together and taking apart those large snap on beads! I got some much needed rest and a little break from constant child care. I think Reed and I both gained about 10 pounds a piece and Reed grew about 3 inches while we were gone. He hasn't stopped eating since we got home!

One thing that Reed got to do that he couldn't do at home was play in the leaves. We don't have any trees in our yard that are big enough to drop a bunch of leaves but Nana had plenty! Reed had a blast! Check out the pictures!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Work in progress

Well, as you can see...still no pictures on this thing. Have lots of great ones on my camera but need to get them uploaded to the computer. Not enough time in the day sometimes. Had to clean for the cleaning lady tonight! :) Hopefully I'll get some on this week or weekend. But, hey...its a start, right?

Monday, November 3, 2008

Welcome to the Hackleman House!

Well, I gave in and did it! I created a blog. I think I am about the only one I know that doesn't have one of these things! But....with all that is going on with my family right now, I thought maybe it was about time to catch up with the world and catch up with everyone we know!

So here, goes! I am the wife, mom, physical therapist, picture taker, organizer of this crew! Our crew consists of my wonderful husband Todd, our adorable son Reed, and our non-human children Truman and Jack.

Reed is 13 months old and as BUSY as he can be. He doesn't walk. He runs. He doesn't reach. He climbs! If he can open it, he does. If he can take it out, he does. If he can stick his hands in it, he does! And all with a great big grin on his face...unless he is studying something then it is what I call the "Todd face". Which I love just as much.

Jack is our border collie mix dog. She is about 10 years old and the queen of the house. Reed loves her, but she doesn't always love Reed. She is getting old and crotchety in her later years. She still loves to play raquetball and Reed tries to throw to her, but he can only get it about 2 feet! Truman keeps her hopping though!

Truman is our 7 month old chocolate lab! He and Reed are about at the same stage of life. What Reed doesn't destroy Truman does and what Truman doesn't destroy Reed does. Needless to say there is never a day with out chaos and excitement at our house! You just have to smile and laugh!